I was determined not to have a big, impersonal wedding. (I can fathom the pictures of traditional chinese clothing reported 1,900 that are invited to the royal wedding. It makes my face hurt just thinking of all that fake smiling that poor couple is going to have to do in the receiving line.)
Yet, after years of judging friends who didn intend to have big weddings, but somehow got pressured into it, I quickly learned how easily guilt and obligation can turn 50 to 100, and 150 to 300, and on and on.
That is if your not willing to be ruthless. And if ever there was a time a couple should be allowed to be, and be forgiven for being, ruthless, it should be their wedding day. Their. wedding. day.
What a nightmare it must be to have the media scrutinizing and broadcasting all of this information about your wedding guest list, who in, who out, in the name of entertainment.
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I certainly snubbed more than a few people outoftouch childhood friends, certain aunts, uncles and cousins, some of my mother best friends. These people made, then were smited from, the list simply to avoid the dreaded, pricey, exponentialgrowth, snowball effect. It a slippery slope.
I have no regrets. My wedding was lovely, small (75 guests), and quiet under blooming apple tree on my parents back yard with our closest friends and family. I actually enjoyed myself and got to talk to everyone. Ian dress kilt was almost prettier than mine.
As far as I know, no one went on a hunger strike to get invited to my wedding.
Tell me about your wedding guest list? Were you ruthless, or gracious? Do you have any regrets? Does any of it matter now? Have you ever been snubbed?
I was planning a wedding in my hometown near Buffalo, NY from Virginia. My husband family lives in Miami and he got close friends in CA. I tried to do it all, but after my MIL 3rd phone call to add MORE names (Vietnamese family, and she kept another relative we had to invite), and many vendors not returning emails or phone calls because I was of area nevermind my panic attack when it was time to go try on dresses eloped. It was perfect. Three years later next month and I still so incredibly happy with our little ceremony. (Which was supposed to be in our backyard, but it was raining on our wedding day so we got married in our living room.)
We snubbed EVERYONE on our wedding day. It was my 2nd wedding, so I already done the big wedding thing, and hubby couldn have cared less, so we went to Key West and got married on the beach! We did take 2 of our friends (a couple) with us as our witnesses. The week chinese clothing online after we got back we held a reception for our friends, but did it cheaply I made the cake, we rented out a boathouse on a lake for less than $400, and had beer and munchies. Our biggest expense was to hire our favorite local musician for the night, but it was totally worth it!
We snubbed everyone. One monday morning we called a Justice of the Peace, headed to the town hall, paid our $30 and got married. His mother cried, she wished she could have been there. My mother flipped her lid and automatically assumed I was pregnant (I was not.) Now it 7 years later, and we still happily married with our 2 year old son. Our moms have since forgiven us. I do wish I had the memory of a wedding though, and we plan to have a small renewal of the vows ceremony some day. And people will have to be snubbed.
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I snubbed everyone on my wedding day. This was my first marriage. At the time my now husband was hell bent on buying a house because it was a buyer market and we could actually afford to buy a home. For whatever reason my husband thought we could buy a home and have a wedding. I was more into eloping or doing a small wedding with just close family members. We live in CO and our family lives on the east coast. We had to have our wedding in TN, where his grandparents live, because his grandparents couldn travel. I wanted to have in in CO because it absolutely gorgeous out here. Not to mention his mom kept butting in stating we had to have a wedding at a chapel. The wedding seemed like it was turning into doing things to make others happy and others not caring what we thought. So finally one day I told my husband that we had to sit down and look at numbers for the wedding and buying a home. There was no way we could afford to do both so we both chose to buy a house and elope. We been married for 3 years now and I couldn be happier.
haha, Sharon! its obligatory mostaccioli during a south St Louis reception that we snubbed! We also snubbed plenty of people, and got married on the beach in Jamaica. Both of our parents were able to go, plus his grandma and her helper, and my sisters. Snubbed from the ceremony were his sisters and their kids, my brother, my sisters husbands, and my grandparents. That was their choice, made by finances and available schedules. We had decent sized party about six weeks after the wedding and invited everybody, but also did that on the sunday of labor day weekend, so we had a lot of no shows helping out our budget. I would not have had it any other way! The ceremony was truly and we got a ceremony when the healer I had studied during my undergrad field work married us the water and the book gotta wait for the law to consummate! the day before our actual wedding. This summer, my husband 20 year high school reunion is in Vegas never been. We trying to plan a very short and inexpensive trip there for our ten year anniversary reeloping!
And betsy family reads this, right?! I guessing that you figure enough time has passed that no one will be mad they missed your actual wedding?!
I have no regrets! We had been to so many weddings the few years before ours that were 150+, at an expensive venure, had a wedding planner, photographer, dj, etc. and had a schedule to follow and if it didn happen that way some one would pay! So we opted for a very small (only 30 people that were only immediate family: mothers, fathers, siblings, and grandparents) wedding at his parents house. His grandfather who was a judge married us. There was no dj or photographer just a lot of disposable cameras and our ipod with a playlist we put together. It was catered by my dad friend and my hair and makeup was done by my brother girlfriend who is a makeup artist but that was it. No traditional wedding dress or tux or bridesmaids or groomsmen. And the ceremony was short and sweet and sans the religious stuff because neither of us are and then it was all about the food and we actually got to spend time with everyone. It was perfect for us. I would not have had it any other way.
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I wanted a smallish wedding (like 150 close friends and family) but we ended up with over 300. My husband father was a pastor of a church, so of course, the whole church had to be invited and of course they all came. It was till really nice though. We found versions of songs we liked done by the Vitamin String Quartet to play while we went down and back up the aisle, so we made it our own. The ceremony was exactly 15 minutes, the perfect amount of time. Looking back, it really was more or less a perfect wedding.
I was shocked by the outoftouch relatives (aunts and uncles) who were mad that they weren invited to our wedding! We didn (and now still don write, talk or see each other. Why invite them if you want to keep it small, personal and affordable?
I thought I was doing them a favor by not obligating them to come (don people complain about going to a wedding for a barelyknown person?). Not exactly. I got a major freeze out from my dad side. Sadly, I written them off now. I was shocked by their bad manners, just as they were shocked by mine! LOL.
But I will never complain about not being invited to a wedding. I love them, and I love to go, but I completely understand how expensive each guest is, and how limited space is. It not personal.
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we invited all the important people in our online clothes shopping lives. Almost all of both of our gigantic families were there and our close friends it was 200+ people but I happy to say I knew all but 4 people (Hubby cousins who live far away) and it made out wedding super special, as we put it no extras. I did snub one person my Uncle who I think is a douche, he made my fathers funeral the previous year about him, told me I never get over my father dying and then tried to extort money from my grieving mother, yeah def a good decision on my part.
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