A little bitter

So, my husband and I have been married for 6 years on August 20. I find myself sad evey time I watch one of those "Say yes to the dress" or "4 weddings" shows, lol. Stupid, I know. He had just come home from a deployment to Iraq and we met online while he was gone. He proposed to me 18 days before we got marreid. We decided to have a very quick wedding (we planned it in like 3 days) and I think I really hate the fact that we did that now.

I had the ugliest dress on the planet and a train ran through the middle of our vows, literally (we were outside right beside the railroad tracks that were "never" used, said the guy who owned the place where we married. Ugh. That is just a small glimpse of the terrible day. The only good part was that it was over, lol.

I find myself really wanting the beautiful dress and the honeymoon. My two sisters both had big weddings (which were both very stressful but not any more stressful taht my throw together wedding, just stressful for different reasons) so I don't envy them and they both hate the way their wedding pictures turned out, but most of the time who doesn't.

Anyways, I think sometimes I get a little bitter that I never got that and it makes me a little upset with dh b/c I feel like the whole military thing really just made us feel like we had to rush it with the threat of him having to deploy again as soon as he got back to his new post. Dh and I have talked about renewing our vows somewhere on a beach in the tropics and then making that our honeymoon as well. I know that buying a dress is really a waste of money, but I really want it. I don't need a $20k dress (which was the price of my older sisters dress ) but she did tell me that I could use it if I wanted to.



I really feel stupid admitting all of this but gosh, sometimes I just want to be that princess, if just for one day.  Plus I don't have a wedding ring anymore because someone stole it from our house. So now, we have chosen to save up to buy a ring but we are waiting until afer we pay off all of our other debt, and rightfully so because we are so tired of feeling like we are drowning and I refuse to add more debt to that.

Ok, well if you have listened this far, I thank you. I guess I just really needed to vent. :) So do I sound stupid?

It's not stupid at all; different people have different dreams and fantasies, different things that matter. My fantasy is to live in Paris; I picture myself in a quaint European apartment with a historic view, heading out to a local bakery in the mornings for my daily fresh baguette and my croissant fix. Sadly, while I grew up in a european city, I now live in So Cal suburbs and I will most likely never live in Europe again. I allow myself the fantasy while accepting it will most likely never come true, and it doesn't prevent me from enjoying the life I lead now  I don't love suburbs, but I love my husband, my family; we're happy. Are you happy with your husband, with your marriage, regardless of how/where you tied the knot? Could it be that you wishing for "what could have been" interferes with your enjoyment of the present? What's done is done  you have weighed your options, you chose your course of action; time to put your fantasy on the back burner, IMO, if you don't have the means right now to bring it to life. One day chinese traditional dress qipao when you do, you can dust off and resurrect the idea of renewing the vows amidst the tropical scenery, but for now there are other things to appreciate and focus on. I'm sorry about your wedding ring, it's a horrible feeling to lose such a personal piece of jewelry. But life goes on, things happen, and at the end it's not the jewelry that makes your marriage happy. (My friend has been married for 25 years and is on her fourth wedding ring  she managed to lose three, one of them presumably inside a thanksgiving turkey!)

personaly I hate weddings. I had a nice small one the first time I got married. my dress chinese traditional wedding dress was a white cowgirl outfit and hat (don't ask I was 18) Oh and did I mention there was a tornado right after the vows? talk about bad luck!! and of corse that one was a fail!

DH and I eloped. we didn't have anyone of our family with us and didn't really care. it was just us and ODD (my daughter from my previous marriage) and it was the best! I was in my jeans and hoodie and he was wearing green sweat pants and a cleveland browns hooded shirt. it was fabulous!!!

We never had a honey moon cause we just didn't care. we got pregnant with ODS that night (at least thats what I saw but back then we were going at it like rabbits)



It's not always about the wedding. it's about how you feel for the person you promised to spend the rest of your life with. Some people need it. some don't. point being you can have the wonderful wedding and end up miserable. or you can have a make shift one and be happy as a pig in mud for the rest traditional chinese wedding clothes of your life. its up to you

I don't think it's crazy it all. I had my big wedding, what I dream about is a proposal. My STBX never proposed to me. We went shopping one day and picked out a ring, sent it to be sized and then went and picked it up together when it was done. I always bugged him about it. I guess now that I'm getting divorced I might get a real proposal someday.

One of my closest friends got married by a Justice of the Peace the first time because she was pregnant. So for their 10th anniversary she did a big vow renewal with a reception and everything. She had a maid of honor and a matron of honor and her 3 kids were there and she was happy. She had also been quite large when she got married the first time and had gastric bipass surgery so she was thrilled to be able to wear a tight wedding dress that showed off her newly thin body.

It's perfectly normal to feel that way. I constantly think of things I wish I would have thought of when planning our wedding. The two big things are that I wish I'd worn a veil and had better pictures. I chose to not wear a veil because we weren't having a traditional style wedding, DH and I walked down together instead of me having my dad walk me down. Now, I look at the pictures and think I look so ordinary and plain. I hate how we didn't get pictures of lots of important moments. That's my sister's fault though. She was our photographer and she slacked off because she had her boyfriend and son there and was too busy talking to them. I guess I should have fit it in the budget to hire someone professional. I have mentioned it to DH and he thinks it's silly and that our real wedding was perfect. He just doesn't understand!